'I spent nearly the entirety of the relationship wondering what else was out there': Women reflect on settling, regrets, and finally ending things

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    What was it like dating someone who wasn't a "bad" partner, but they weren't necessarily great or amazing?

    Couple sitting back to back beside a busy street, they look sad
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    Formal Jellyfish4683 It's... fine. But in the immortal words of Roy Kent "He's fine, that's it. nothing wrong with that, most people are fine. It's not
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    about him, it's about why the you think he deserves you? You deserve someone who who makes you feel like you got struck lightning. Don't you by dare settle fine!"
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    candela1200 Dating an "amazing partner" who is thoughtful, helpful, considerate, loving, giving, supportive, grows you and grows alongside you, invests in and protects your relationship,
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    prioritizes you and pays attention to the things that make you safe and happy - then realizes those things so all your shared moments and life in
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    general get better, easier, more inspired, more relaxed... it's a life changing way to spend your time. There's an exponential and compounding effect having an amazing partner.
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    TheNewThirteen Exactly how you described it - not bad, but not great or amazing. I was with a guy who was a good person, but he wasn't my person.
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    I spent nearly the entirety of the relationship wondering what else was out there, even though there wasn't really anything wrong with
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    the guy. Being in a relationship with one foot out the door isn't fair to either person in the relationship.
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    Woman gazing longingly out of a window
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    ocean_wavez This was exactly my experience too. Finally ended it after going back and forth for months and it was such a relief. The very first person I went on a date with since then already seems to be putting in more effort than my ex!
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    chocolatelustpile You know how sometimes a grandparent gets a girlfriend or boyfriend after their long term spouse dies and they're more late life companions than anything? That's what it was like for me, though 40 years too early.
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    Couple sit at a cafe across from one another and look bored
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    aureswi it got exhausting quickly. I kept wondering if there was someone out there who'd be a better fit for me, even though on paper we
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    seemed to be a great match. he was kind and generous and we had similar interests, and I loved that we could listen to music and go to shows together. he was a
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    good first partner to have after I had ended a not-so-great long term relationship, but I ultimately broke up with him because he had low self-esteem and was unwilling to work on it
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    i'm now dating someone I'm obsessed with. can't get enough of him. i'm glad I didn't settle
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    Weanier I got too comfortable which was a big mistake on my part. I shouldn't have settled for someone that didn't admire or care for me as much as I did for
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    him. He never went out of his way to do anything for me that I didn't ask of him and I felt like his primary caretaker. It took someone else to show me that I meant a lot to them, that I AM
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    beautiful, and they would do anything for me. I left him and ended up with someone that cherishes me and would do
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    anything for me. Don't make the same 5 year mistake I made. Relationships aren't going to be amazing all the time. Nothing is a fairytale, but you should always
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    be happy and that other person should make you feel great and they should do small things for you everyday. You're not someone's mother, you're their partner.
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    Couple kissing lovingly next to a body of water
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    Lady_lacroix It was not necessarily bad, but it was neither great or amazing
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    swizzleschtick Every day felt monotonous and honestly I felt sad about it. People deserve to be with someone who makes them feel like the sun shines out of their bat, and I
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    knew I deserved that too. It wasn't enough then, and I knew it wouldn't be enough to last me until the end of my days so l eventually decided to leave.
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    smarkastic It took way too long to truly realize and accept that I deserved more. That I wanted more. It was hard to pinpoint why things felt not quite right. And then leaving them was
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    hard too. But I knew, for me, I couldn't continue on in a relationship with someone who was simply "ok" for me and about me and be able to look back and
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    truly believe I'd had a happy life. I constantly found myself thinking "this can't be the love I've dreamt about my whole life. The love I know exists."
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    So now I'm over three years single, by choice, and the happiest, most at peace of my life. And I'll never settle for "ok" again.

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